


Give me it all (I'll give it right back).

by lumoon33



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, M/M, ash and luke are mentioned like twice, calum is really in love, i dont know what it is, idk what else to tag, im sorry, kind of, really fluffy at the end, there are a lot of feeling in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 05:16:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2376068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumoon33/pseuds/lumoon33
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calum has known Michael for a long time now, a really long time, and he has learnt to read him. Not read him as in read his mind, he can't do that, he can't tell what Michael is thinking at every moment, but he can guess what he's feeling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Give me it all (I'll give it right back).

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what it is. I was listening to Don't Ever Let It End by Nickelback at 3am and this happened. And yeah, the title is from She Was The One, by The Vamps.
> 
> English isn't my first language, sorry for the mistakes. Hope you enjoy it x

Calum has known Michael for a long time now, a really long time, and he has learnt to read him. Not read him as in read his mind, he can't do that, he can't tell what Michael is thinking at every moment, but he can guess what he's feeling.

  
\----

  
_Anxiety_.

Calum's eyes trail over Michael's body, he's on the opposite side of the couch and his eyes are fixed in the interviewer, a small shy smile dancing on the edge of his lips, and that's pretty fine, but he has his fingers laced together and his knuckles are white and his right foot is moving nonstop.

And Calum knows that there's something wrong.

He needs all his self control to not get up in the middle of the interview and kneel in front of Michael and ask him what's going on in that red head of his, why he's feeling anxious all of a sudden.

Calum takes a deep breath and listens to the questions and tries to reply some of them, but Ashton does almost all the job, so Calum keeps sneaking glances at where Michael is and he sees how his foot stops slowly, he sees how he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, how he rests his hands in his knees and laughs out loud at something that Luke says.

Calum sighs in relief.

When the interview is over Calum knows that Michael is okay, he knows that whatever it was what was in his head a few minutes ago, it isn't bothering him anymore, but he walks over to him anyways and squeezes his waist lightly, to let him know that he's there if he needs something.

He doesn't ask, though. He doesn't need to.

"It's fine" Michael says under his breath, leaning on Calum's side "I'm fine. I just, I started to think about how many people is going to watch this interview and how awkward I probably am and just, you know how I get sometimes"

Calum looks up to meet his eyes, squeezes his waist one more time. Michael smiles at him, half a smile that lights up his green eyes with that sparkle that tells Calum that yeah, everything is okay again. He sighs in relief one more.

"I'm fine" Michael repeats, a little bit louder now, and Calum lets go of his waist.

  
\----

  
_Excitement_.

Michael has been jumping and bouncing beside Calum the whole day. His eyes are more clear than ever, Calum has started to think that the next time he looks at him the sparkle may blind him.

They have a week off and they're spending it in England and Blink-182 just happened to have a concert in Liverpool, Calum decided to take Michael there.

The concert finished almost half an hour ago, they are walking back to the hotel where they are staying the night and Michael is a bunch of excitement and happiness and joy and Calum feels like all those emotions are going to burst his own chest.

"I'm so glad you had fun today" Calum says smiling at him.

It's late and the streets are almost empty, all that Calum can hear is their footsteps and occasional cars driving by.

"Oh Cal, that was fucking amazing!" Michael screams, his smile is wide and his cheeks are pink, Calum needs to bite his lower lip to not tell him right there how beautiful he is "One of the best days of my life, thank you" he moves closer to Calum and bumps their shoulders, smiling even wider.

Calum stops walking and grabs one of Michael's wrists to turn him around, he pulls at his arm until their chests are touching and he's breathing Michael's scent instead of Liverpool's rainy air.

When he looks into Michael's eyes he can actually see his excitement entangled with the green and grey and blue, it's just beautiful. He can see the excitement and the happiness and the joy and he wants to feel it.

So Calum leans in and breaths in the surprised gasp that leaves Michael's pink lips, he presses their half open mouths together and closes his eyes when Michael's excitement, now mixed with confusion, runs through his body, making the palm of his hands sweat and his heart race until he can feel it bumping in every inch of his body.

When they break the kiss, Michael's eyes are still shining, but they have a different kind of sparkle, something a little more serious. It's almost terrifying.

They walk the rest of the way to the hotel in silence, Michael's arm sometimes brushing against Calum's, his knees going weak everytime.

Calum promises himself that he will forget. Something in the new light of Michael's eyes tells him he should.

  
\----

  
_Nervousness_.

The show starts in five minutes and Calum is nervous.

Michael is standing next to him and he has his guitar at his back and his headphones on and he's playing with his bracelets, as he always does when he's nervous. He's making Calum nervous.

So he puts a hand on top of Michael's, stops his fingers and intertwines them with his own. When he looks up, Michael has his wide eyes on their hands and his mouth is half open.

The moment feels awfully intimate and Calum knows that he should let go, but he knows that Michael is still nervous, even though his hands aren't moving anymore. So when someone yells that they need to get on stage, Calum lifts one of Michael's hands and takes it to his lips, he kisses his knuckles and Michael looks at him and swallows hard.

When Michael's eyes find his own, Calum lets go of his hand and he knows he will have to forget about this too, but Michael isn't nervous anymore, so it was worth it.

  
\----

  
_Lust_.

The wall is cold against the bare skin of Calum's back and the way Michael is pushing his shoulder against hurts, but he doesn't complain.

The bathroom is in semi darkness, it smells bad and the music of the pub sounding outside the closed door is making the walls throb, but Calum doesn't complain.

There's a hot mouth running through his collarbone, leaving wet kisses and almost painful bites, there's an eager hand struggling with his belt and Michael is all over him. So no, Calum doesn't complain.

Although everything that he feels everytime Michael attaches their mouths together it's lust.

Even though everything that he can feel when he pulls Michael closer, their naked skin making contact, the both of them breathing hard, is lust.

Although everything he sees in the feverish sparkle of Michael's dark green eyes is lust.

Even though he can tell that all that Michael is feeling at the moment it's lust when Calum wishes it was something else, something more important... Calum can't complain.

Because it's Michael, and it's giving him more than what he can ask for.

And when they're both completely naked and covered in sweat, when their heartbeats have slowed down and their breathings are fighting to go back to a normal rhythm, when Michael's eyes are a clear green again and he's just leaning onto Calum to avoid falling down, Calum promises himself to try to forget about this too.

  
\----

  
_Happiness_.

The burger that Calum is holding is cooling, but he doesn't really care.

It's two in the morning, he's sitting on a bench in the middle of the night in a city that he doesn't know, his burger is cold and he's even colder, but Michael is beside him and he's wearing a wide white smile and his eyes are shining with happiness.

Everything that Calum cares about is keeping that happy sparkle that's lighting the green.

"Thank you for this" Michael whispers, nodding towards the can of coke his holding.

"It's nothing, it was cheap, don't worry" Calum says sending him a small smile, even though he knows that Michael isn't talking about the food. He's trying to keep away from his mind the thought of how this is awfully similar to a date.

"You know what I mean" Michael rolls his eyes "Thank you for coming here with me at I don't even know what hour in the morning" and his smile falls a little, turning into a shy one "You could be happily asleep and instead you're here freezing with me just because I had a nightmare"

Calum moves a little closer to Michael, leaves what's left of his cold burger next to him over the bench and rests his elbows on his legs. He takes his eyes off of Michael and looks at the ground, because he knows that if he keeps staring at Michael's bright green iris, he will tell him that he would go till the end of the world at five in the morning just to see him like this, calm and soft and just happy.

"I like being here with you" he says instead.

There's a silence between them, and it's not a comfortable one, but it's not a tense one either, it's just that kind of silence that fills everything when the both of them have something to say but neither of them is brave enough to speak.

Calum feels Michael moving even closer, and he feels his fingertips against his cheek. He lifts his head, but he doesn't look at him, he closes his eyes and keeps them closed while he waits for the soft feeling of Michael's cold chapped lips against his own, and when it comes, Calum feels Michael happiness running all over his body, warming him up.

But he also feels something else, something that he doesn't exactly know what it is.

But what he does know is that he will try to forget again. He wonders if he will be able this time.

He doesn't think so.

  
\----

  
_Sincerity_.

That's everything that Michael irradiates when he's drunk. Sincerity.

Calum doesn't know why they are at a party and he doesn't know what they are celebrating, but it's not a big deal, he will drink and he will try to have fun as he always does when he's at a party.

What it's a big deal is Michael approaching him, stumbling his way between the dancing bodies, his cheeks red and his pupils dilated and a dumb drunken smile planted on his pink lips.

When he reaches Calum he lets his body fall against Calum's, his face hidden in the crook of his neck, his arms over his shoulders and the glass he's holding almost spills its content all over Calum's white t-shirt.

"What are you doing, Mike?" Calum's voice comes out husky, because Michael has started kissing his neck, and alarmed, because they're in a crowded place and he knows that sober Michael wouldn't approve this "Michael, stop" he says a little bit stronger this time, trying to push him away.

Michael giggles and doesn't move, he kisses the way up from Calum's collarbone to his ear.

"What's this?" he whispers, his voice cracks at the end "What's this between us?"

Calum doesn't answer, because he doesn't know how to and he doesn't know the answer and he's still trying to forget every intimate moment that they have shared even though he's started to assume that it's almost impossible.

"I don't know, I don't know what's this" Michael keeps talking and it sounds as if he's answering his own question "I don't know, but I don't want it to end" he says and it sounds so sincere that it actually hurts. His tongue slides over Calum's neck before he talks again, his breath tickling Calum's skin when it hits the wet stripe his tongue has traced "Don't let it end, Cal"

Calum is speechless for a few seconds and when he's able to force the words out of his mouth, his throat feels like burning.

"I won't" he says, giving up in his efforts of pushing Michael away and sliding his arms around his waist, pulling him closer, not caring about if Michael can feel his heart running like crazy.

"Promise?" Michael whispers, and the weakness of his voice breaks Calum.

"I promise"

And in that moment Calum thinks that maybe he won't have to try to forget anymore.

  
\----

  
_Indifference_.

Calum has known Michael for a long time now, such a long time, he thought that he could read his feeling pretty well. But he guesses he can't. At least not anymore.

Everything he feels coming from Michael now is indifference.

Michael keeps himself as far away from Calum as he can, and when they eyes meet the green isn't shining anymore, and Calum misses the bright sparkle and it hurts as hell.

Michael keeps himself away from Calum unless he's drunk, or unless he misses him too much to get into Calum's bed at night and let the lust take over him.

But when Calum isn't getting indifference from Michael, he's getting lust, and that's the warmer thing he will get from him, thinking about it makes his whole body run cold.

Calum damns the day he thought he could stop forgetting.

  
\----

  
_Tiredness_.

Ashton suggested to take the car and just drive until find a nice place to see the stars together, just to do something different for a night, and that's how Calum has ended lying in the car hood with his arms behind his head and looking at the stars.

Ashton and Luke are lying in the grass next to the car and Calum supposes that Michael has gotten tired of their 'not talking, just look at the sky' mood, because he can hear him getting up and climbing the car to lie next to him.

Michael's arm and leg brush against Calum, it sends a rush down his spine and he needs to literally bite his tongue to not say "you're more beautiful" when Michael mumbles something along the lines "the stars are really pretty, aren't they?"

They stay in silence for a while and when Calum doesn't answer, Michael pushes his body up, supporting himself with his arm to look at Calum in the eyes.

Green clouded by tiredness, that's what Calum can see in Michael's eyes, and he's so surprised that he can feel something coming from him after all those weeks of indifference that his mouth falls open.

"I'm so fucking tired" Michael says, it's not a whisper, but it's just strong enough for Calum to hear.

Calum fights the impulse to say 'I know'.

"I remember it, okay?" Michael's voice is rough, as if it's difficult for him to get the words out. He licks his lips, looks at the sky and then back at Calum, takes a deep breath before he speaks again "I was drunk, but I remember it all and I remember that you promised me that you wouldn't let it end"

Calum's eyes widen and he doesn't know if it is for the fact that Michael remembers or for the realization that he's not the only one that wasn't able to forget about it.

"You have to keep your promise" it comes out as a broken whisper and Calum can feel fear mixed with the tiredness, fear and a little bit of hope "I'm tired of pretending that nothing's going on between us and I just, I know you feel the same way. You wouldn't have made that promise if you didn't" his voice sounds weak in that last sentence, it sounds like he has given up.

Calum pushes himself up a little, he supports his weight with his forearms and looks at Michael right in the eyes.

He can feel it all.

_Anxiety. Want. Nervousness. Hope. Fear. Pain. Need._

_All at once._

It's overwhelming. After weeks of feeling just indifference mixed with lust, it's fucking overwhelming and he's not sure how he has to act.

But Michael is there, looking right back at him, leaving his feelings naked, reflecting them in his eyes to let Calum read them. He's exposed and giving his all to Calum.

Calum puts his hand in the back of Michael's neck and drags him closer.

_Love._

Michael's lips move eagerly against Calum's, his mouth open and hot and making Calum feel love running so fast through his body. His hands are sweating and his heart is racing and he feels like he won't be able to breath if Michael pulls away for more than one second and it's awesome, amazing.

Calum can feel Michael's love filling every inch of his body and he just wishes that, after all this time, Michael has learnt to read his feelings too, he wishes that Michael can feel how in love with him he is, and how terrified he is when he thinks that maybe he has to forget this moment too.

And when Michael mumbles against his mouth "we will never let it end, okay?" Calum knows that he can read him as well as he can read Michael.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, it would mean the world if you tell me what you think about this :)


End file.
